Dinner with Exador

I was our wedding anniversary yesterday (thank you, thank you) so I took the Missus out to a swanky, italian restaurant.
We approach the hostess a few minutes early for our 7pm reservation. As she scans for a table, Mrs Schwartz says, "Somewhere romantic. It's our anniversary."
As we turn the corner, I see that there is a couple with their infant at the next table to ours. Just as Mrs S sits down and the hostess hands her a menu, the little Banshee starts to scream, 3 feet from our table.
I didn't even sit down. Mrs S stood up. We both told the hostess, "Somewhere a little quieter.", and walked away.
She led us to a fine table at the other end of the restaurant.

We could hear (faintly, thank God) that brat SCREAM all the way through dinner. Two hours. One time, the mother took the kid outside, only to return two minutes later and have the kid start screaming before it was seated.

I would have killed someone, if we had remained at that table.

As it was, we had a wonderful time, as always at this restaurant.
When desert rolled around, I initially declined, but a man at the next table (a New Yorker, by the sound of his accent) INSISTED that I get the canolli. Which I did, and he was right. He was also eating a canolli. He called to the waitress to put our canollis on his tab, as an anniversary present.

Just them, a woman came up to his table. Extended her telescopic fork and stuck it into his canolli.
She announced that she had been married 31 years and if ANYONE deserved a canolli, it was her.
She scooped out some of his canolli and ate it.
The gentleman did NOT know this woman. He sat there, speechless, as the woman returned to her table. After the shock wore off, our three tables talked a little more. The woman's husband embarassingly admitted that, "She does that all the time. I've taken her to black tie dinners and she takes out that damn fork". The woman responded that she "Couldn't help herself".

Mrs S went over to her table (cause she's wierd that way). Later, she told me that when she told the woman that she and her husband didn't look old enough to be married 31 years (they didn't), the woman responded that "she'd been having sex with him since before the age of consent".

Well, good talk. Bye.