Monosyllabic Pedantry

Sunday, August 10, 2008

You Wonder What they were thinking

Our back door hasn't closed properly for years. It all started when I loosened one of the screws that holds down the threshold. When we bought the house, the gutters were in bad shape. Water had dripped on to the deck and splashed onto the wood around the door and rotted some of it. I couldn't tighten the screw and the threshold had a little rise to it. The door stuck horribly on it.
I tried to remove the old threshold a few weeks ago.

One of the large screws holding it down was totally stripped. I bought a 'screw-removal' tool. That's basically a hardened screw with the threads going the opposite way. I drill a hole into the center of the screw, and run the 'extractor' into it. Using the drill and a wrench, I'm slowly turning the screw, when the 'extractor' snaps off. Now, I have a screw with a hardened steel core. I try grinding it out. Nothing.
I go through about a dozen dremel cutting wheels before I get it out.

Now, with all the screws out, I try to remove the threshold and it's as solidly planted as ever. Out of desperation, I use the dremel cutting wheels to cut the aluminum threshold in half.

While prying it out, I discover that the builder had run screws through the door frame,into the sides of the threshold. What fuckhead would do that?

After a lot of prying,and undoubtedly damaging the frame, I finally get the pieces of it free.

So today,with my new threshold, I attempt the install. Half a day of frustration later, I think, "Maybe I just need a bigger hammer." I basically hammer the new threshold into place. To my surprise, it drops in and looks great.

The only downside is that I didn't add any wood glue before dropping it in, so it's basically just wedged into place with no screws, no glue.

I'll have to figure out a way to inject some glue under it. Some other day.

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6 Comments:

  • Our constant refrain of home renovation this summer has been "what fuckhead would have done that?" I was not personally involved in the house rewire -- my brother is the electrical engineer of the family, whereas my talents lie in the "blowing things up" direction -- but from what my husband tells me, it's a wonder that we hadn't died in our sleep from the crappy hidden wiring job. StonerDude and Fertila, the previous owners of our house, excelled in procreating and smoking bud. Home repair, not so much.

    It also looks like they used a troupe of monkey painters with special anal attachments to do the paint job in the dining room. You'd think with the cost savings in labor they could have sprung for a bucket of primer, but noooooo....

    By Blogger Bridgett, at 10:32 AM  

  • Don't even get me started on cheapshit Chinese screws. When a wimp like me can break them off using a regular old screwdriver to put them into pine studs, this is some inferior crap. I will not be surprised if their "toilet seat wrapped in duct tape" stadium collapses around their ears.

    By Blogger Bridgett, at 10:34 AM  

  • Oh yeah, the stories I could tell...

    When we moved into this house, we immediately noticed that the ceiling fan over our bed wobbled a good inch in either direction, as it turned.

    Upon later inspection (in the attic), we found that the fixture was mounted on a flimsy metal bracket, kinda like a metal coat hanger. I'm guessing the builder had originally mounted a simple light, but some genius came along later and put in a ceiling fan, with lights, in the same place. Not the same thing, by a long shot. It's a wonder the damn thing hadn't fallen on us in our sleep.

    By Blogger Exador, at 10:55 AM  

  • btw....if you need more wood glue, you will need to purchase it. SOMEONE that smells of beagle found a nice bottle of wood glue and it is NO MORE.

    Sorry dude.

    the mrs...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:41 PM  

  • btw....if you need more wood glue, you will need to purchase it. SOMEONE that smells of beagle found a nice bottle of wood glue and it is NO MORE.

    Sorry dude.

    the mrs...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:41 PM  

  • Fertila?

    Hah!

    Luckily the Dr. Pepper had been swallowed before I got to that

    By Blogger Lee, at 1:05 PM  

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