Monosyllabic Pedantry

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Media Hysteria

You have to be careful now a days, not to fall into one of the media-hyped tragedies.
These are the situations which have been so hyped by the media that they have become scripture.
DUI comes to mind. It used to be, that if a cop saw you swerve, he'd follow you and make a determination as to your driving ability. Now, we have roadblocks and breathalyzers. Drinking and driving is now sacrilegious. It matters not your level of impairment; one drink qualifies you for a felony. So sayeth MADD.

The other tragedy is leaving your kids in the car while you run into a store.

Both of these scenarios start out with a core of sense (like all religions) then extrapolate it to the absurd. No, leaving a baby in the car is not the best thing in the world, but if it's not hot out, and you lock the car and you run in for five minutes while the kid is in a car seat, is that really a hanging offense?

In our paper the headline reads:

Mother arrested for locking 4-month-old twins in car while shopping

Pretty bad, huh? The story tells how the infants were discovered by another shopper who could hear their cries through the cracked windows.

Oh, the humanity! Of course they called paramedics and the cops. Lo and behold! The babies are fine. Even though they were taken to the friggin hospital, just in case. Sweet Jesus, what a wussy society we've become.

I'm a little skeptical because it says this happened at 10 o'clock at night!

The old bitty that called the cops says it was still 90 degrees out. I don't know what she was smoking because it was not 90 degrees at 10pm last night. Also, there's no sun out, so there's no greenhouse effect with the car. Of course, the newspaper keeps repeating, "Temperatures reached above 90 degrees on Saturday". Yeah, but not at 10pm!

I'm not saying this broad is mother of year, but now she's arrested and charged with two counts of cruelty to children. She just paid a $3000 bond to get out. Hell, I'll bet her kids could be taken away from her.


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