Monosyllabic Pedantry

Sunday, November 20, 2005

More Torture!

I'm fed up with all the bitching and moaning of our treatment of terrorists. I honestly can't understand how someone could pitch a defense of these bastards with a straight face.

The first mantra of the America haters is "Geneva Conventions"! Well guess what? The terrorists we're fighting have as much to do with the Geneva Conventions as do Martians. The GC very clearly define exactly who is protected and the terrorists don't fit the bill.

(Art 4) "Prisoners of war, in the sense of the present Convention, are persons belonging to one of the following categories, who have fallen into the power of the enemy"
  • "Members of the armed forces"
  • "militias...including those of organized resistance movements...having a fixed distinctive sign recognizable at a distance...conducting their operations in accordance with the laws and customs of war"
So I would hope that we can all agree that they do not qualify; therfore, we are not obligated to treat them in accordance with the GC. What's next?

The second Mantra is that we must treat them well so that they treat our guys humanely when they are captured. This is a joke, since they routinely torture our guys to death and then mutilate their corpes and hang them from a bridge.

Let me take all of this one step further. Not only do we have no obligation to not torture terrorists, I submit that we have an obligation to torture them.

It comes down to simple training. They have no incentive to abide by the GC because there's no downside for them. Whatever they do, we'll dutifully abide by it. But, if we start getting on CNN and saying, "Look, these guys obviously aren't submitting to it, so until they start wearing uniforms and treating out guys properly, we are going to torture all al queda that we catch".

What are they going to do? Cheat worse? We are letting them dictate the parameters of this war, and those parameters are that we are hamstrung while they are free to do whatever.

Of course the pussies in France are going to start bitching. Listening to the French lecture on war is like listening to Jimmy Carter lecture on being a good President. Tell ya what, Jacque, how about you guys WIN a war that entails gunpowder, THEN come and tell us how to wage war, you cheese eating surrender monkey.
So when Kofi starts bitching, tell him to invade us with that great UN army. What? ya say WE are the UN army? Well, Kofi, I guess you can fuck off then.

The most ridiculous part is that we don't even have to REALLY torture them. The stupid primates are so freaked out by pork and menstual blood, that's all we'd need. Every al queda we catch gets neatly wrapped in bacon and shot in time for CNN's evening broadcast. Watch how long the war on terror lasts after that.


  • Maybe you could provide some summaries at the top of posts like this so that those of us trying to eat while reading can know to skip them.

    Here, I'll do this one for you:

    [Contents include typical conservative complaining about the French, cartoons appalling to the religiously tolerant, and more of this absurd sense of outrage based on some old-fashioned notion that there are "rules" to war and that those who don't follow them are somehow more wrong than those who do, as if war isn't, inherently, a wrong and terrible thing that ought to be embarked on only as a last resort.]

    By Blogger Aunt B, at 5:18 AM  

  • Hey toots, you knew what the deal was when you clicked on this here website.

    Do you complain when you go to the beach and get sand in your suit?

    By Anonymous Sarcastro, at 5:43 AM  

  • I believe you missed the thrust of the arguement, which is that we need to STOP following obsolete rules of war that do not apply to the current war.

    By Blogger Exador, at 5:52 AM  

  • Well, if your argument is that rules of war are stupid, then we are in complete agreement and I tip my hat to you.

    S., I tend not to wear anything when I take my trips to the ocean, so that's not really a problem for me.

    By Blogger Aunt B, at 6:13 AM  

  • That explains the harpoon scars.

    Do I have to say just kidding, or will you shoot me now on general principles? Sorry, I can't lay off the pitches that are right down the middle like that.

    By Anonymous Sarcastro, at 6:57 AM  

  • Sarcastro, I'm not fighting with you on someone else's blog, you distasteful fucker.

    I'm not stupid. I know you didn't have anyone to bicker with all week and have to make up for lost time.

    That must have been very lonely and hard for you and I'm sorry I forgot to provide for your intellectual care and feeding while I was gone.

    By Blogger Aunt B, at 7:10 AM  

  • I missed you.

    By Anonymous Sarcastro, at 7:13 AM  

  • Don't get all sappy on me, now. I find it disconcerting.

    By Blogger Aunt B, at 7:36 AM  

  • You two can fight all you want on my blog; you're about the only ones who post on it.

    By Blogger Exador, at 7:47 AM  

  • SS,

    B can't shoot you. She's afraid of guns.

    They're icky.

    By Blogger Exador, at 7:49 AM  

  • We may be the only ones who know about it.

    I was gonna go shooting on Sunday, but was feeling sickly. Chest cold bullshit.

    What are your plans for the weekend, I may be able to cut loose from Hellijay and get down there for Friday.

    By Anonymous Sarcastro, at 7:55 AM  

  • Excellent.

    I shall free up my social calender.

    By Blogger Exador, at 7:59 AM  

  • I never said guns were icky, just that I was afraid I'd shoot myself, which, as you certainly know by now, considering my injury-prone-ness, is a real possibility.

    But, oh, to be a fly on the wall following the two of you around all weekend. That would be a riot.

    By Blogger Aunt B, at 8:16 AM  

  • As it has been a riot for the last ten years or so.

    Remind me to tell you the story of being down at L5P (where the biker bar is) under the influence of toadstools sometime.

    By Anonymous Sarcastro, at 9:33 AM  

  • I guess I'm here too, but I'm NOT gonna fight with either of them.

    By Blogger Kat Coble, at 10:15 AM  

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