Liveblogging Pain
Update 11:25 AM Wednesday:
God bless the maker of Percocet. I don't get high or drowsy off them. The pain just goes away. Sweeet!
Update 8:25 AM Tuesday:
I'm back at work. The drive sucked, since my percocet hasn't kicked in yet, so every time I had to push the clutch, I got pain.
Poor Mrs Schwartz. She was so freaked out by my pain, that she apparently drank more than I did on Sunday, and she's not a hard liquor drinker. She was SO hungover yesterday. There I was, actually feeling much better with the drugs, while she spent the DAY throwing up. All day and into the evening. I think the first thing she was able to keep down were some peaches at about 7pm. Even today, she's a mess. Her throat burns from all the puking. She's weak as a kitten. We're quite a pair.
She pointed out something to me yesterday. There I was, screaming bloody murder in my driveway for 30 minutes, on a Sunday afternoon, and not ONE of my neighbors came over or called the cops. Bastards. Especially the ones I've helped so many times in the past.
Update 11:15 Monday:
We just got back from the doctor. He said I have a herniated disk in my spine. He gave me two shots in the ass: a painkiller and an anti-inflammatory. He also gave me a prescription for Percocet and an anti-inflammatory. He gave me a pamphlet with some stretching exercises and said to do them as soon as I feel up to it. I'm supposed to go back to him in 7 days to check my progress. He said the exercises should help work the disk back in. If not, we'll have to try something more aggressive.
I gave one of the Percocet to Mrs Schwartz. She needed it.
Self-medicating with gin was definitely a bad idea. Not only did I wake up with a hangover AND the pain, I woke up at about 3 AM to throw up. Let me tell you, THAT was not fun.
********************************************
Original Post Sunday afternoon:
I was working on the yard. I was transferring the monkey grass, that was flourishing behind the back deck, to the front walkway.
My lower back started feeling like it was tightening up more and more. I thought, "this is wierd. I felt like the heat was helping my back."
The pain and tightness suddenly ramped up. I squatted down to try and stretch my back. Mrs Schwartz came out front to see what I was doing.
The pain suddenly got so bad that I dropped to my hands and knees, yelling in pain.
Mrs Schwartz said that she heard a HUGE CRUNCH. I heard nothing. I dropped to the pavement in pain, my lower back killing me.
I laid on my back in the driveway. Every minute or so, pain would start in my lower back and escalate until I was screaming.
(Side note: I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. I've had fingers broken, until I was was looking at the bone poking out. I've received one really good ass-whooping. I've cut and broken myself more times than I can count. No problemo)
I was SCREAMING in pain in my driveway.
I could not get up. No matter which way I tried, any movement caused excruciating pain. I laid in the driveway for 30 minutes. Mrs Schwartz said that I either had to figure out a way to get into the house, or she was going to call an ambulance. I very slowly made my way into the house.
I had her cut off my shirt and strip me down. I took a shower (she bathed me). Then I walked, with two canes, to the couch, where I remain. She got me food. The poor girl; she gets freaked out by me being in pain, so she's about at the end of HER rope too.
I can barely move without excruciating pain. She gave me three Demoral, and I've been drinking gin like it's judgement day. The pain hasn't reduced but I'm getting loaded.
God bless the maker of Percocet. I don't get high or drowsy off them. The pain just goes away. Sweeet!
Update 8:25 AM Tuesday:
I'm back at work. The drive sucked, since my percocet hasn't kicked in yet, so every time I had to push the clutch, I got pain.
Poor Mrs Schwartz. She was so freaked out by my pain, that she apparently drank more than I did on Sunday, and she's not a hard liquor drinker. She was SO hungover yesterday. There I was, actually feeling much better with the drugs, while she spent the DAY throwing up. All day and into the evening. I think the first thing she was able to keep down were some peaches at about 7pm. Even today, she's a mess. Her throat burns from all the puking. She's weak as a kitten. We're quite a pair.
She pointed out something to me yesterday. There I was, screaming bloody murder in my driveway for 30 minutes, on a Sunday afternoon, and not ONE of my neighbors came over or called the cops. Bastards. Especially the ones I've helped so many times in the past.
Update 11:15 Monday:
We just got back from the doctor. He said I have a herniated disk in my spine. He gave me two shots in the ass: a painkiller and an anti-inflammatory. He also gave me a prescription for Percocet and an anti-inflammatory. He gave me a pamphlet with some stretching exercises and said to do them as soon as I feel up to it. I'm supposed to go back to him in 7 days to check my progress. He said the exercises should help work the disk back in. If not, we'll have to try something more aggressive.
I gave one of the Percocet to Mrs Schwartz. She needed it.
Self-medicating with gin was definitely a bad idea. Not only did I wake up with a hangover AND the pain, I woke up at about 3 AM to throw up. Let me tell you, THAT was not fun.
********************************************
Original Post Sunday afternoon:
I was working on the yard. I was transferring the monkey grass, that was flourishing behind the back deck, to the front walkway.
My lower back started feeling like it was tightening up more and more. I thought, "this is wierd. I felt like the heat was helping my back."
The pain and tightness suddenly ramped up. I squatted down to try and stretch my back. Mrs Schwartz came out front to see what I was doing.
The pain suddenly got so bad that I dropped to my hands and knees, yelling in pain.
Mrs Schwartz said that she heard a HUGE CRUNCH. I heard nothing. I dropped to the pavement in pain, my lower back killing me.
I laid on my back in the driveway. Every minute or so, pain would start in my lower back and escalate until I was screaming.
(Side note: I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. I've had fingers broken, until I was was looking at the bone poking out. I've received one really good ass-whooping. I've cut and broken myself more times than I can count. No problemo)
I was SCREAMING in pain in my driveway.
I could not get up. No matter which way I tried, any movement caused excruciating pain. I laid in the driveway for 30 minutes. Mrs Schwartz said that I either had to figure out a way to get into the house, or she was going to call an ambulance. I very slowly made my way into the house.
I had her cut off my shirt and strip me down. I took a shower (she bathed me). Then I walked, with two canes, to the couch, where I remain. She got me food. The poor girl; she gets freaked out by me being in pain, so she's about at the end of HER rope too.
I can barely move without excruciating pain. She gave me three Demoral, and I've been drinking gin like it's judgement day. The pain hasn't reduced but I'm getting loaded.
2 Comments:
Real men go to the hospital when they are crippled instead of laying in the driveway causing their wives great distress.
Pussy.
By Aunt B, at 7:17 PM
So you and Sarcastro have more in common now...except for he went to the doctor!! I hope you feel better soon. Tell the Mrs. I said hello...
Tara
By Anonymous, at 10:02 AM
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