Monosyllabic Pedantry

Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Crazy

I think we can all agree that women are universally insane. Honest women will admit this.

Before the feminists get their grannypanties in a knot, let me explain. I love every sort of woman there is. They all have fascinating characteristics that I never tire of. They are infinitely more complex than men. In many ways they are smarter. Womens' insanity is literally the spice of life. Without it, life would be pretty boring. But, like cayenne pepper, when it's concentrated and sprayed at you, it leaves you crying on the floor in a fetal position.
Also, I think it's beneficial that we acknowledge that all women have the crazy inside them. That way, when it comes out, we are more understanding. And ladies, it does come out, at least, every 28 days or so. One of the moments that endeared me to Mrs Shwartz was when she was in the middle of the throws of PMS and she explained to me that she was working so hard to keep under control. She said, "I originally wanted to kill everybody, now I just want to kill you."

Some women are better at hiding it than others. This is important for the continuance of the species because few men would get married if they saw the full, unabridged crazy beforehand. If you find a woman that generally keeps the crazy under control, you're doing well. I suppose if the crazy were to be a embodied, it would be a female pitbull. Some women tie it up in the front yard with a thinner chain than others, which it periodically breaks. Other women keep it tied up with a bungee chord, so it continually lunges at the men walking by, but then snaps back into the yard. There are a few, generally in the womyns' studies department, that let her roam free all the time.

I think women would do well to contemplate how they tie up their crazy.


  • I seem to always find the psychotic crazy ones with the imaginary chain that talks.

    By Blogger RightWingPagan, at 12:09 PM  

  • "the throws of pms". Really! Try throes. Threaten me big boy and I'll start reading your blog and correcting your grammar, spelling, typos, etc. xxx Mumsey

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:58 AM  

  • I can see the nut didn't fall far from that tree.

    By Blogger Exador, at 6:35 PM  

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