Monosyllabic Pedantry

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

My Friend George

My friend George is visiting me for a while. He's in town for business for a few weeks. He said his company is paying him for a hotel room, so he's planning on staying with me and splitting the per diem money with me.
Naturally, we went out drinking last night. I remember getting loaded, seeing a bunch of bimbos I haven't seen in a while, and waking up on my floor in front of the closet. I'm assuming I was putting my coat away when something went wrong. I woke up at 3 and stumbled to bed. Felt like shit all day at work.
George has big, brown, puppydog eyes, which apparently women love, because he gets more ass than a seat on a cross-town bus. We were in our regular bar one time, when he made a joke about fucking every girl in the bar. He suddenly looked around and said, "God damn, I think I really have slept with every woman in here."
We were out last night, having drinks and food. A "friend" of his came into the bar with another man. There was a period of small talk and "what have you been doing". The next thing I know, he's leaving the bar with her. I didn't hear from him until 6 o'clock the next day.
I guess I envy George, because he's not an especially good-looking guy. There's just something about his game that gets womens' panties off. It's a secret I wish I knew.
He's sleeping on my couch for a few days, so if there are any women out there who want to sleep with him, contact me and I'll set it up.

By the way, Aunt B, your afghan is keeping George warm, since all my spare blankets smell like Zachary. Don't worry. I'll keep the women off of it. I'm also keeping Zachary away from it. I'm afraid he'll damage it somehow. I've turned into my grandmother, nice things are too nice to ever use.


  • Woo hoo! I love to hear that my afghan is wrapped around hot dudes. But I must admit that I feel bad for Zachary, who must wonder why he can't curl up in an afghan that smells so much like a dog already, because Sadie was curled up under it with me the whole time I was working on it, and she's a little stinky lately.

    Unless you cut the fucker apart, you can't do anything to it that can't be fixed.

    By Blogger Aunt B, at 5:11 AM  

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