My dogs will bankrupt me

"Asian-Flu-boy Montgomery"

Since none of you cheap bastards ponied up any dough, I'm going to have to pay for Zachary's surgery. It'll probably run over $1000. In addition to that, my other dog, Montgomery, has come down with canine flu. He's had gross stuff oozing from his eyes, ears and nose, and he's been very lethargic. Just mopey all around. When he breathes, it's more of a wheeze. Mrs Schwartz dropped him off at the vet at lunch and I picked him up after work. He had full blood work, plus two Xrays. They have to charge $52 to sedate him for the Xrays because of his size.

The final bill for him was $300.

Unfortunately, the vet talked to her before me, so things got screwed up.

Mrs Schwartz: The vet called. Montgomery has the asian bird flu.
Me: What!!??!?!?
Mrs Schwartz: Yep, that's what he said.
Me: Has there even BEEN a case in this country? Wait, he's not even a bird! He only goes out to go to the bathroom. Other than that, he's inside. How could he possibly have contracted that? It makes no sense!
Mrs Schwartz: I don't know. You talk to him about it when you pick him up, but that's what he said.

It turns out he has canine flu, which is like avian flu. (and just about every other type of flu).

They both have hip dysplasia too. Bottles of glucosamine (helps the joints) are $30 each. They last about 2 weeks.

Have I mentioned that Zachary got heartworm a couple of years back? $600.

That's it. When these two die, which may be soon if the bills keep coming in, I am going dog-less for a while.

I could have gotten such a nice kayak and the gun I wanted, for what I'm blowing here.

God, at least you can claim kids as dependents.