Shawn Mullins and Ghosts

Shawn Mullins gave a free concert on the Lawrenceville Square last night. (Trivia Note: Larry Flynt was shot through the spine as he walked out of this old town hall. We don't cotton to that Hustler smut around these parts.)
As with all things Gwinnett, it gets packed with people with their kids. I swear this county is the breeding capital of the world.
Anyway. Since the main lawn of the square fills up pretty quickly, we sat across the street on one of those brick pedestals, that wrought iron fences are secured by. The top of it was slanted to keep people from comfortably doing that, so we had to hug each other to keep from tipping off. (Sweet). We only listened for about an hour, but I could feel it taking a toll on my back, so we decided to walk around the square. We wound up on a secluded bench at one corner of it. Just then, we heard a girl with the worst fake, southern, antebellum accent giving a ghost tour of the Lawerenceville square. She was directly behind us, talking to about six morbidly obese old people. One old woman was in a wheelchair.
The tourguide was wearing a black goth "southern belle" dress, with a top hat. She was going on about the building behind us having a confederate soldier ghost, named 'Bo', who would appear in mirror reflections. It was awful. If you've ever seen the SNL skit of Colonal Ingus, the girl sounded exactly like Rachel Dratch, trying to sound like Scarlett O'Hara. Mrs Schwartz would not stop cracking up. Our bench was right next to the cross walk, so after the girl finished about Bo, she attempted to lead the group across the street.
But there was a bump that the woman in the wheelchair could not get over, even with her husband pushing her. They struggled for a minute, when suddenly the woman jumped to her feet and easily walked across the street.
As soon as she stood up, I couldn't help myself, I said "It's a Miracle!"
Mrs Schwartz spit out her wine the way people only do it in movies. You know, that spray that forms a four foot cloud. Then she started laughing so hard, she fell off the bench and on to the sidewalk. It was hilarious! The tour was still in the crosswalk when all this happened, and they were stuck directly across the street from us, as the girl babbled about the ghost in that building. All the while, Mrs Schwartz lay on the ground, laughing.

Maybe you had to be there.