I hate Mother Nature
I think it's a sign of character for a man to know his limitations. There are some things I'm good at; landscaping is not one of them.
Yes, the grass started to grow. Then the weeds, that have been unseen for weeks, grew through the new grass.
Then Gwinnett County outlawed lawn watering. They allow it before 10AM, so the apartment complexes, office parks, and people rich enough to afford an automated system, can still water. Us regular slobs, just watched as our new lawns browned and died.
With the exception of the weeds. They're apparently hardy enough to survive without water.
My lawn is pretty much back to where it was. All the time and money was a waste.
So lawn, I've given you a chance at life. No more. Tonight, I mowed it as short as my mower would go. I'm going to keep it low and thirsty until the sun burns it all an even, golden brown, like a nice tan.
I'm retreating and focussing my attention on my hedge. I'm going to buy a soaker hose and bury it under woodships along my hedge. Then I'm going to water it and nurture it and call it George.
Yes, the grass started to grow. Then the weeds, that have been unseen for weeks, grew through the new grass.
Then Gwinnett County outlawed lawn watering. They allow it before 10AM, so the apartment complexes, office parks, and people rich enough to afford an automated system, can still water. Us regular slobs, just watched as our new lawns browned and died.
With the exception of the weeds. They're apparently hardy enough to survive without water.
My lawn is pretty much back to where it was. All the time and money was a waste.
So lawn, I've given you a chance at life. No more. Tonight, I mowed it as short as my mower would go. I'm going to keep it low and thirsty until the sun burns it all an even, golden brown, like a nice tan.
I'm retreating and focussing my attention on my hedge. I'm going to buy a soaker hose and bury it under woodships along my hedge. Then I'm going to water it and nurture it and call it George.
posted by Exador at
9:04 PM
6 Comments:
Or you could water the lawn before 10 am.
By
Anonymous, at 5:37 AM
Some of us do not own businesses, and can't lounge around getting laid all morning and water the lawns, and drunkenly stumble onto the job site, and yell "andele!" for 45 minutes, before heading off to the bar.
Some of us have to be to work early.
By
Exador, at 6:06 AM
Here's a nutty idea, get up more than fifteen minutes before you have to bolt out the door. How about an hour? Start the sprinkler, then have the Mrs. cut it off if she leaves after you.
By
Anonymous, at 8:53 AM
Plan A:Buy a water timer that attaches to your spigot and will cut the sprinkler off after a set time. You don't even have to be home.
Plan B: Overseed with ryegrass in the fall for a luxuriant winter lawn.
By
saraclark, at 3:04 PM
Spoooookyyyyy!
We're thinking the same thing. At lunch today, I went and bought a spigot timer.
Rye grass you say? Aren't you being tormented by your monster-like lawn and hillbilly gardener BECAUSE of the Rye seeding?
By
Exador, at 5:16 PM
Is George single?
By
Plimco, at 7:33 AM
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