Camelot in the Parking Lot

Mrs Schwartz told me that she went to the store today. When she returned to the Jeep, she saw that a "huge, scary spider" was perched on the driver's side mirror.
Knowing that "huge scary spiders" have a tendancy to attack and eat women 50,000 times their size, she knew better than to approach the vehicle.
She also knew that, were she to enter the Jeep from the passenger's side, the "huge, scary spider" would then know where she lived, and then we'd never be rid of him.
There was only one thing to do; secure the services of a champion. Patiently searching the parking lot, she found her Lancelot in the form of "an old man, late seventies, with a speech impediment".
Lancelot shuffled over to his old Chevy pickup truck, rolled a magazine into his Excaliber, and promptly slew the spider.

Chivalry is not dead, at least not for a few more weeks.