Monosyllabic Pedantry

Friday, March 31, 2006

My run-in with the law

Zachary and I decided to go in search of flea and tick repellent, since I'm seeing mosquitos flying around.
We went to Sam's Club. No dice, although they have a canoe there I'm thinking of buying.
Then we went to Walmart. I found some cheapo stuff, but I figure it'll get him through until I get better stuff. I also bought a packet of sunflower seeds. Mrs Schwartz loves sunflowers, so I figure I'll plant some in the front yard and see if they can survive.
Walmart is across the street from the neighborhood park. Since they were 5 months old, I have been taking Zachary and Monty to this park because it has a huge trail around the perimeter. The best part is that the trail is unpaved, unlit, and poorly kept; perfect for dogs and crappy for joggers.
Now that Zachary has his bad leg, I drive up close to the trail entrance. We go about 100 yards into the woods; to the closest bench. I sat on the bench and Zachary got to sniff the wind coming off the lake and up the hill. It's dark, so nobody bothers us.
I made out a person walking toward us, out of the woods. Zachary noticed him too, so I told Zachary to "stay". I saw that the person has stopped, like they were afraid, so I called out, "He doesn't bite!"
The person resonded, "Is he on a leash?"
Exador: "He's too crippled to bother with a leash."
Person: "I don't recall seeing that exception in the County Leash Law."

Just then, I made out the sillouette of a gun on his hip. Great, a cop.
He approached and Zachary went over to say hi.

Exador: "I'm not disputing the law. It's just that he has a torn ligament in his leg. He can barely walk. We used to walk around this park. Now, I just park over there (I point) and let him walk over here and get the smells."

I mean, come on! Who could give me a ticket then, with goofy Zachary bugging the cop to get petted.

Cop: "Oh, your just a old lab" as he pets him.
Cop: "I had a lab. He died of cancer."
Exador: "His brother just died of cancer ten days ago."

Needless to say, I didn't get a ticket. We talked for a while. I kept wondering if I should tell him about the gun I had in the small of my back. I decided not to. It was very dark.

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  • Good story, nicely developed. The gun in the small of your back detracts a little, but overall a good chapter or the core of short story.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:05 PM  

  • Both men carry guns. Both men lost dogs to cancer. I think you're underestimating the power of parallelism. Exador asks us to consider the subtle shifts in power between the two men, who end up being equally matched, as each comes to regard the other not as potential threat, but as fellow man.

    That's a fairly complex theme to get across in such a short amount of time and the author does a nice job of it without beating the reader over the head. And that's the real meat of the piece.

    I'm surprised you missed that central idea, seeing as you feel free to set yourself up as the arbitor of good writing.

    It takes real balls to pass judgment on someone'skills when one misses the axis on which the narrative turns.

    But that's just my opinion. Take it for what it's worth.

    By Blogger Aunt B, at 7:01 AM  

  • His gun was bigger than mine, so I don't know if we were equally matched. I only had my .22 mag "poker gun", loaded with shot rounds.
    It's not very lethal, but it's very concealable and an excellent deterrant to ne're-do-wells.

    By Blogger Exador, at 7:08 AM  

  • Exador, don't you be ruining my awesome literary analysis with your facts.

    By Blogger Aunt B, at 7:45 AM  

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