Why Biblethumpers shouldn't be given power

Juneau County District Attorney Scott Southworth last month sent a letter to area school districts warning that health teachers who tell students how to put on a condom or take birth-control pills could face criminal charges.

Southworth, a Republican and a Christian evangelical, took issue with a law Democratic Gov. Jim Doyle signed in February requiring schools that teach sexual education to adopt a comprehensive approach.

Southworth warned that teaching a student how to properly use contraceptives would be contributing to the delinquency of a minor, a misdemeanor punishable by up to nine months behind bars and a $10,000 fine. He said it would be promoting sex among minors who are not legally allowed to have sex in Wisconsin.

Janine Geske, a Marquette University law professor and former state Supreme Court justice, said she didn't understand Southworth's legal logic. She said that if he tried to prosecute a teacher for adhering to guidelines approved by the Legislature and governor, the case would likely be dismissed.

"To be frank, I can't follow exactly what he's trying to get at," Geske said. "If a teacher is educating a student pursuant to state law ... I don't see how under any examination (that) could be criminal."
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Allow me to help you out, Janine. He's a primitive dolt who lives in fear of his imaginary daddy-figure. That clear it up for you?

Wonderful Pendants

While shopping today, we were exposed to the extensive pendant collection available from JCPenney. I invite anyone to explore their selection here.

My favorite?

Halloween in the Biblebelt

We took the neighbor's kids Trick or Treating (don't ask). The local participation was spotty, at best. There was one cool house that went all out.
One interesting part of the evening was a house where I heard the guy at the door say, "I don't have any treats, but I have something better."

That's right! He was handing out Jesus Tapes!

Another Rant againt Primates

Mrs Schwartz has had spiedies marinating since Thursday. Today is the day we are grilling them. Beer goes great with spiedies. I would like nothing more than to have a cold beer with my spiedies.
Unfortunately, this state is populated by unevolved bible thumping troglodytes, so we can't buy any beer to have with our spiedies, because that would make their sky-daddy angry. I can't believe these monkeys get the same vote I do.
I have become a single-issue voter. I would vote for Hitler if he promised to allow Sunday beer sales. I actually voted democrat last election, just to vote against that Prick, David Shafer.

Happy Zombie Jesus Weekend

Priorities

Mothers Against Drunk Driving, yes, those harpies that brought us road blocks and 0.08 bac, are out there bitching about the video game Grand Theft Auto because, get this, there's drunk driving shown in the game!
First of all, the name of the game is GRAND THEFT AUTO.
I've never played this game, but from what I understand, there's a great deal of actions in it that would get you to a lower circle of hell than driving tipsy.
Like Murder. Lots and lots of murder.
Isn't there also theft, prostitution, pimping, assault, graphic sex (if you get the add-on).

If you can find a better example of a what a bunch of shrill ninnies MADD is, and how they've turn DUI into a religious jihad, I'd like to hear it.

This is Why Churches Shouldn't be Tax Exempt

Obama's minister is retiring to his 10,340 square foot, four bedroom home in Chicago. The property for the mansion was bought by Wright, then sold to the church, to be held as a living trust. Public records of the sale show Trinity initially obtained a $10 million bank loan to purchase the property and build a new house on the land.

But further investigation with tax and real estate attorneys showed that the church had actually secured a $1.6 million mortgage for the home purchase, and attached a $10 million line of credit, for reasons unspecified in the paperwork.

Because churches are classified as private businesses, Trinity isn’t required to reveal its intended use for the line of credit. Nor, because it’s a non-profit entity, is it required to provide that information to the IRS.

So where did the $10Million go? Eh, nobody knows.

Considering Chicago's taxes, isn't it nice that Rev Wright doesn't have to pay any property taxes on his retirement mansion?

Catholic Hypocrisy

The pope came out with some new deadly sins last week.

There are the originals:

Pride
Envy
Gluttony
Lust
Anger
Greed
Sloth

Then there are the new ones:

Genetic experimentation
Tampering with the order of nature
Pollution
Social injustice
Causing poverty
Accumulating excessive wealth
Drug abuse


The Vatican's wealth is estimated to be between $10,000,000,000 and $15,000,000,000.

The Catholic religion forbids birth control of any kind, resulting in crippling poverty in much of the developing world, especially in south and central america.

Georgia Raindance

Our esteemed governor held a prayer service to pray to the creator of the universe to give us rain.

And then it rained.

Some would argue that rain was already forcast for the next day. {Well played, Sonny} CNN's Robin Meade, whom I can barely stand watching, begged her viewers to send in their feelings on whether praying for rain makes a difference.

Personally, I don't really care. If you want to pray for rain, knock yourself out. I would think the governor had more important things to do, but I guess pandering to idiots is a big part of his job, so what the heck.

Many of the pictures reminded me of those heathen savages that decent god-fearing Baptists used to kill, on account of their foolish religion.

On the other side of the aisle, there was a protest by about four people, who were all worked up that this was a violation of the seperation of church and state. First of all, these rubes must completely misunderstand that clause. Secondly, get a fucking hobby already. Oh this is your hobby? Get a better one.

All in all, it probably gave a chuckle to the yankees.

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UPDATE: The brain-damaged hens at The View have chimed in. As usual, the transcript is breathtaking:

JOY BEHAR: Now, wait a minute, before you go off that you say it's not separation, he is the governor. He is supposed to practice separation of church and state.

GOLDBEG: And he did, and he did.

BEHAR: Just because he wasn't in the Capitol steps I’m saying --

GOLDBERG: No, he wasn’t in the Capitol. Now, the separation, he can do whatever he wants to do outside of the building.

BEHAR: Even if he is the governor of Georgia?

BEHAR: Well, they need to be praying to people who will fix global warming and take care of the environment because that's more realistic.

BEHAR: It's a distraction from the fact that there is scientific evidence that we are in the midst of global warming, which is causing a lot of these droughts and fires. So let's focus on the rationality at of it instead-

BEHAR: Yeah, so let’s might as well pray anyway. Yeah, except this is a governor of a state.

SHEPHERD: How do you know that he's not praying for the global warming?

BEHAR: Well, then let's hear that.

Christianity Explained

After half a gallon of gin, we have discovered that Jesus was raised from the dead when the Easter Bunny snuck into the cave and fed him magic easter eggs.

On a related front, Mrs Schwartz has discovered that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is actually the holy ghost.

She has always had a hangup about, "If the father is Yahweh, and the Son is Jesus, who is the holy ghost?" I know the Irish church has tried to explain this as three leaves of a clover, but nobody ever really bought that story anyway.

Christianity is actually starting to make sense.