FIRE!

The neighbor's shed took the brunt of the fire, and went up like a meth lab. Hey, wait a minute....

Sadly, my canoe was also a casualty

Happy Saint Pat's

For Valentine's Day

Growing Boobs Barbie

You have to twist her arm to see her boobs! HA! Get it!?

Duke U 2

Nassau DA: Hofstra Student Made Up Gang Rape Story
Charges Dropped Against 4 Men Under Arrest; Search For 5th Called Off; DA, Hempstead School Release Statements

NEW YORK (CBS) ― The student who alleged she was gang raped by five men inside a Hofstra University dormitory bathroom on Sunday has admitted to making the entire story up, the Nassau County District Attorney's office confirmed on Wednesday night.




*Remember, many feminists are aghast that anyone would doubt, or God forbid, want evidence, when a woman makes a rape accusation.

Well, That's Wierd

The big story around town is about this woman who got kidnapped, hauled off to Tennessee and raped in a remote cabin, before being saved by the pizza delivery man.

The story was right out of a horror movie.

Then it got reported that the woman knew her rapist.

Then it got reported that she had two previous convictions of falsely reporting being raped, and was still on probation for the second one.

The we found out that she knew her rapist from when she worked at Tattletales (a local strip club) and he was a patron.

Now evidence is surfacing that the "rapist"'s story might be true. The two are dating and she is into bondage and rape/kidnap role playing.


Just another little reminder for the folks who think that no one should question the evidence when a woman accuses rape.

UPDATE: The woman's own mother says she lying.

The Atlanta stripper’s troubles started when she was young, family members said. She spent time in and out of youth detention facilities and mental institutions, her mother said.

When she was 15, family members said the alleged victim set her uncle’s Locust Grove home on fire - while her mother and brother were asleep inside.

Several months later, she set fire to several trash cans inside an Early County church, causing damage throughout the building, Tye-Carter said.

“She wasn’t allowed in church without parents,” the mother said.

She also was sent to counseling after locking her younger sister in a closet, which she set on fire, Tye-Carter said. That was in addition to trying to drown her sister in a bathtub full of scalding water, Tye-Carter said. Each time, family members rescued the little sister.

As she grew older, doctors diagnosed the alleged victim with psychological problems and seizures, for which they prescribed medication, her mother said.

QOTD

"You're like catnip, but with the opposite effect."
-Mrs Schwartz

Bless Her Heart

My front yard is at the lower end of a long slope. When it rains, parts of my yard will stay wet for days afterwards. Because of this, I know that I need to mow my lawn before rainstorms, since I don't know how long it will be before I'll be able to mow it again.
Last weekend, we were forcast for rain on Sunday. I went out to mow, and Mrs Schwartz, as always, was telling me to let it go; she would mow the lawn later in the week. In the past, this was a hollow offer, because there was no way she could start the mower. Now that it's tuned up, she could do it. I have a self-propelled, walk-behind mower.
She put it off. After some nagging, she attempted to mow it on Tuesday. I get this email:

OK, So I'm having a heart attack trying to mow the lawn. There are dips, drops, hills, etc. So this nice mexican guy walks by and says, "may I please help you? Your face is so red! I can help".

So he goes up the hill towards the house and says, "this is by far the worst lawnmower ever" So i told him I asked you to buy a real lawnmower and he said that he has worked on lawns for over 12 years and never did he use such a crappy mower. Why not buy a good lawnmower? You have to mow all the time right?

I told him I promised you I'd mow the lawn as it was raining but I don't know if i can do it. He said he mows lawns all day every day and will pass on helping me out. He had to get home.

So I did my best. But I couldn't get the whole front yard done.

Later that day, I'm on my way home from work and I get an exhausted call from her. She explains to me that she missed the instruction to move the "drive" lever forward.

She had the self-propelled lawnmower in neutral and was just pushing it to mow the lawn. She had finished most of the front lawn before she figured it out.

Perfect, right up until...

We had an absolutely great weekend. We drove to Birmingham to see Wicked again. The drive was great, the show was great. Just perfect.
Sunday, we had plenty of beer stocked, submitted the taxes, and I mowed the lawn with the freshly tuned-up lawnmower. The tuneup was easier than I thought and it runs like a dream now.
I had to practice aikido for an upcoming belt test. I've asked Mrs Schwartz to be my attacker, promising not to follow through on any of the techniques. To put it mildly, she has been hesitant. Yesterday, she came out to offer her help.
We made it through the first few techniques, then something happened.
All I did was pat down her hand and hold her hand and shoulder. Somehow, this pinched a nerve in her neck. She got a flash of pain through her eye socket (I know!), her hand went numb, and she couldn't move her neck.
Fortunately, most of that went away pretty quickly, but the poor thing is still suffering. She insists I hit her multiple times. At last check, she is still having trouble moving her neck.

Another Inigo Montoya Moment

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.






The mother of octuplets born in California last month says she's "not living off taxpayer money," but that she has been receiving about $490 worth of food stamps.
Nadya Suleman told NBC's "Today" in an interview broadcast Wednesday that her family receives no cash from the government and that the food stamps she's been receiving for 18 months are "not affiliated with welfare."

All together now:

FOOD STAMPS ARE WELFARE

DEADBEAT UPDATE:

Even before the 33-year-old single, unemployed mother gave birth to octuplets last month, she had been caring for her six other children with the help of $490 a month in food stamps, plus Social Security disability payments for three of the youngsters. In California, a low-income family can receive Social Security payments of up to $793 a month for each disabled child. Three children would amount to $2,379.

Also, the hospital where the octuplets are expected to spend seven to 12 weeks has requested reimbursement from Medi-Cal, the state's Medicaid program, for care of the premature babies, according to the Los Angeles Times.

Also, a Nadya Suleman Family Web Site has been set up to collect donations for the children. It features pictures of the mother and each octuplet and has instructions for making donations by check or credit card.

The Suleman octuplets' medical costs have not been disclosed, but in 2006, the average cost for a premature baby's hospital stay in California was $164,273, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Eight times that equals $1.3 million.

Suleman received disability payments for an on-the-job back injury during a riot at a state mental hospital, collecting more than $165,000 over nearly a decade before the benefits were discontinued last year. (Yeah, her back was hurting her so badly that she went out and got six invitro fertilizations before this one. The state should come after that $165,000, but what's the point?)

She's a scammer and a scumbag. She should not be celebrated, but shamed. All of her children should be taken away from her.

PMSBuddy

As a public service announcement, allow me to pass along this service:

PMSBuddy is a free online service that will warn you when it is your lady's time of the month.

From their site:

PMSBuddy.com is a free service created with a single goal in mind: to keep you aware of when your wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, daughter, or any other women in your life are closing in on "that time of the month" - when things can get intense for what may seem to be no reason at all.

For women, this is a great way to give people in your life a heads-up of when you might be feeling a bit irritable without having an awkward conversation.

What's more, we will not only keep you informed, but will give you some free advice on what to do about it. With PMSBuddy.com, there is no reason to ever be blindsided by PMS again.

PMSBuddy.com - Saving relationships, one month at a time!

My New Girlfriend

Mrs Schwartz and I went to see Wicked at the Fox theatre. Great Show. The company that performed it was excellent, but the searches that I did brought up the original broadway cast, hence my new girlfriend. This gal, Idina Menzel, can belt out a tune.

If Taye Diggs ever dumps her, she's mine.

Happy Halloween

Priorities

Mothers Against Drunk Driving, yes, those harpies that brought us road blocks and 0.08 bac, are out there bitching about the video game Grand Theft Auto because, get this, there's drunk driving shown in the game!
First of all, the name of the game is GRAND THEFT AUTO.
I've never played this game, but from what I understand, there's a great deal of actions in it that would get you to a lower circle of hell than driving tipsy.
Like Murder. Lots and lots of murder.
Isn't there also theft, prostitution, pimping, assault, graphic sex (if you get the add-on).

If you can find a better example of a what a bunch of shrill ninnies MADD is, and how they've turn DUI into a religious jihad, I'd like to hear it.

Somethin' for the Ladies

I found this website for the Virtual Shoe Museum. There's something for any gal in your life.

The Smartest woman in America?

Hillary told a crowd in Nevada:

"No woman is illegal," Clinton said, to cheers.


Even if you dismiss the immediate idiocy of this statement, other questions linger:

So some Men are illegal? Is that equal protection? Is that sexist and discriminatory? Is that what the country wants from its president?

I'm starting to think she doesn't represent me.

The Free Market of Love

I was tempted to title this Men are Scum and Women are Whores, but I'm too nice.

A pretty extensive study has just reported that, when the market for mates is tight, Women go for the men with money, and men become more invested in fidelity, their children, and their careers.

The study traacked data from 1910 to today, and examined the male to female ratio as well as the stats on who is married, etc.

In Case You Didn't Already Know

Yet another study has come out, showing that women call in sick to work more often than men.

Not just more, nearly TWICE has often.

The obvious answer from human resource experts, employers, employees and even us in the media is always that “working moms have most of the responsibilities at home,” and that translates into female employees having to take sick days to tend to sick kids.

Indeed, new Labor Department data shared with msnbc.com seem to support this to a degree.

“Both married and unmarried women with children report a higher rate of absences than those without children,” says Terence McMenamin with the department’s Bureau of Labor Statistics. Among single dads, the absentee rate is also higher than the rate for men without children.