Monosyllabic Pedantry

Monday, May 29, 2006

Memorial Day

We had a BBQ at work on Friday. During the picnic, the owner of the company said, "Enjoy the long weekend, but please remember what the occasion is for. Take time out to think about the men and women who have served this country. And take time to think about, and pray for, the men and women who are overseas right now."

In what has become a Memorial Day tradition at Casa del Exador, we are watching the Band of Brothers marathon. I've developed a Pavlovian response to the theme music that causes my eyes to water up.

We had purchased a new laptop for the home office, but then we found a better deal on Sunday, so we bought another one. Now we have to return the first one.
We got a laptop with a 17" screen, all the bells and whistles, including wireless internet. The extra deal is that we got, for free, a wireless router, a printer, and some kind of internet security software. All for $699. Not bad.

Update 11:35 AM:
We had the Vonage working with no trouble; however, when we installed the wireless network, the Vonage router developed an error. They refuse to play together. Both of their setups don't mention having to run from the modem to a router (wireless) to another router (Vonage). So I'm on my own.
B of B is up to the "Why we Fight" episode, where they find the concentration camps. Yikes!

Update 9:44 PM:
Ha HA! All is working. Six years of college did not go to waste.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Building the home office

It looks like Mrs Schwartz' home business is taking off. Part of what makes her so loveable, and concurrently intolerable, is that she is THE type A personality. Combine that with her just being very good at what she does, and she is leading the new company's numbers, and it's her first week.
So we are building the home office. She is cleaning while I put together the oak desk that we bought on thursday. If you've done this before, then you are familiar with the little CAM devices the use now. Unfortunately, I have to install all those dozens of little CAM devices, before they can be used to put the pieces together. Nobody uses screws anymore. Ironically, the CAM devices have to be screwed into the wood.
We are also going out to buy her a laptop, so I can get her off of this computer.
It also means that I have to run CAT-5 cable up to the new office. That'll be fun.

Live-blogging moment:

Mrs Schwartz: You have to clean Zachary's ears.

Exador: You do it. You have smaller fingers. You can poke his brain.

Mrs Schwartz: I always have to do it. Can't I have weekends off?

Exador: Fine, but it'll take a lot of time out of that desk I'm building for you.

Mrs Schwartz: Yeah, well it'll take a lot of time out of any blowjobs you get. I can play this game all day!

Exador: Fine, I'll do it, but I'm blogging this.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Senate Votes to Screw Americans III

This is getting to be redundant.

The Senate bill was S. 2611 (Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act of 2006 )

The critical details of it are:
  1. Those who have been in the country illegally for between 2 and 5 years...get to join a temporary worker program. That means they get to stay here. That means their illegal actions are being forgiven and rewarded. That's amnesty.
  2. Those who have been in the country illegally longer would go on an 11-year probation, then get citizenship. Again ... .amnesty. And just how in the hell are they going to prove they've been here for more than 5 years? Why, with the same forged documents they used to get jobs!

Here's how the losers voted:

YEAs ---62
Akaka (D-HI) Baucus (D-MT) Bayh (D-IN) Bennett (R-UT) Biden (D-DE) Bingaman (D-NM) Boxer (D-CA) Brownback (R-KS) Cantwell (D-WA) Carper (D-DE) Chafee (R-RI) Clinton (D-NY) Coleman (R-MN) Collins (R-ME) Conrad (D-ND) Craig (R-ID) Dayton (D-MN) DeWine (R-OH) Dodd (D-CT) Domenici (R-NM) Durbin (D-IL)
Feingold (D-WI) Feinstein (D-CA) Frist (R-TN) Graham (R-SC) Gregg (R-NH) Hagel (R-NE) Harkin (D-IA) Inouye (D-HI) Jeffords (I-VT) Johnson (D-SD) Kennedy (D-MA) Kerry (D-MA) Kohl (D-WI) Landrieu (D-LA) Lautenberg (D-NJ) Leahy (D-VT) Levin (D-MI) Lieberman (D-CT) Lincoln (D-AR) Lugar (R-IN) Martinez (R-FL)
McCain (R-AZ) McConnell (R-KY) Menendez (D-NJ) Mikulski (D-MD) Murkowski (R-AK) Murray (D-WA) Nelson (D-FL) Obama (D-IL) Pryor (D-AR) Reed (D-RI) Reid (D-NV) Sarbanes (D-MD) Schumer (D-NY) Smith (R-OR) Snowe (R-ME) Specter (R-PA) Stevens (R-AK) Voinovich (R-OH) Warner (R-VA) Wyden (D-OR)
NAYs ---36
Alexander (R-TN) Allard (R-CO) Allen (R-VA) Bond (R-MO) Bunning (R-KY) Burns (R-MT)Burr (R-NC) Byrd (D-WV) Chambliss (R-GA) Coburn (R-OK) Cochran (R-MS) Cornyn (R-TX)
Crapo (R-ID) DeMint (R-SC) Dole (R-NC) Dorgan (D-ND) Ensign (R-NV) Enzi (R-WY) Grassley (R-IA) Hatch (R-UT) Hutchison (R-TX) Inhofe (R-OK) Isakson (R-GA) Kyl (R-AZ)
Lott (R-MS) Nelson (D-NE) Roberts (R-KS) Santorum (R-PA) Sessions (R-AL) Shelby (R-AL)Stabenow (D-MI) Sununu (R-NH) Talent (R-MO) Thomas (R-WY) Thune (R-SD) Vitter (R-LA)
Not Voting - 2
Rockefeller(D-WV) Salazar(D-CO)

Ant Souls

I have flying ants. Not many. About a dozen of so somehow get into my house and walk around on my TV at night.
So I do a search for "flying ants georgia pesticide" to see how to get rid of them.

One of the results is THIS.

It's a forum by vegans, discussing how they have bugs in their house, but they can't kill them because that would be wrong. Sometimes they just live with the ants, cockroaches, spiders. Sometimes they release them into the wild, including flying ants.

For some reason, they don't think the same ants are just coming back in. It reminds me of our border policy with Mexico, but I digress.

My favorite quote:
I had a real problem with tiny ants invading my kitchen last week. I was cleaning so I had to get them out or I would end up squishing them. They were about 2mm long, so it was really hard to remove them. I went to put my dishes away after dinner later and found three of them dead on my counter. I know that they die just because they are so fragile, but I still feel horrible when I am the cause.

Anyway, it's a fun read, if you're bored and want to mock stupid people.

Monday, May 22, 2006

What the...?

I wake up. It's dark. Looking around. This new couch is comfortable. I can stretch out on it. The front door is wide open. I sit up and look around. Phew! Zachary is lying on the floor in the kitchen. I'm naked. I look for the time, but the DVD player is upstairs now. I put my foot on the floor and find a puddle of something. Beer or water. Maybe both, like Coors Light.
I go upstairs. Mrs Schwartz is asleep on the big, new bed. It's 5:15. I start piecing together yesterday.

The move went perfectly. My two friends showed up at about 11am. Mrs Schwartz had already moved everything but the big stuff. She had reserved a 16' truck. We loaded everything into one trip. Then we laid around on the new furniture and watched the new 60" tv until the booze ran out. I had argued with Mrs Schwartz that we could drop off the truck at any time, since they had a drop box for the keys. She had insisted that we drop it off before we go to the bar. Chalk up another victory for her brilliant intellect. She's a wise woman.

Then we went to my local watering hole. I was buying, as payment for the labor. My friend Johnny was trying to convince the 21 year-old waitress to run away with him. (Do they only hire hotties at this place?) After that, it's kind of a blur. The only clue is the $106.00 credit card receipt, I just found in my wallet.

Mrs Schwartz tells me that I called my friend George at some point, and that George was begging to get off the phone. I don't know what time that was, but it must be true, since I found my phone out on the deck before I left for work.

I also talked with Johnny's mom. I remember we arranged for the Mrs and I to stay with her in Alabama next weekend. She makes moonshine for living. Really. She does.

I will pass on further details, like how I got naked, and did I leave the house that way, as soon as I learn them.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Marriage, Round 2

Sunday, we are doing the big move-back-in. Mrs Schwartz is moving back into the house. The jury's still out on whether we'll kill each other. It did seem pretty silly to have her living in an apartment when we were seeing each other every weekend.
Today, we had a garage sale, so that she could sell some of her junk to make room. I worked on the yard while she attended to the illegals that patronized the sale.
I was able to finish spreading grass seed and hay on the remainder of the front yard. All the hard work is done. It's growing pretty well.
We had a couple of people stop to try to buy my seed spreader, or my sprinkler.
I've done all the necessary preparations. I called my drunken friends a day in advance. Right on time, they returned my call 12 hours later, at which time, I was able to pounce on them: "I need your help with the move tomorrow." I also bought two cases of beer. It being Sunday, they won't have any other sources of cheap beer. Bwa Ha Ha!
After buying the beer for tomorrow, Zachary and I sat on the driveway and watched traffic for about 30 minutes. It's become our favorite thing to do. There's also some high lightning, so that added to the show.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Senate Votes to Screw Americans II

The Washington Times reports that the senate voted to allow illegal aliens to collect social security benefits based on past illegal employment--even if the job was obtained through forged or stolen documents.

My first question on this boondoggle is this:

If their link to the illegal employment is through stolen or forged documentation, then how does one know that the person claiming the benefits is the one who did the work?

In every other instance, money earned through illegal activity is forfeited. If you buy a car with your drug money, that car is taken. If you con old ladies out of their lifesavings with a ponzi scheme, you don't get to keep the money!

It's not like social security is well funded to begin with. But it's nice that our legislators have decided to bankrupt it a few years earlier.

The amendment that got defeated is S.2611

AMENDMENT PURPOSE:To reduce document fraud, prevent identity theft, and preserve the integrity of the Social Security system, by ensuring that persons who receive an adjustment of status under this bill are not able to receive Social Security benefits as a result of unlawful activity.

On the motion to table this Amendment (effectively killing it):

Grouped By Vote Position
YEAs ---50

Akaka (D-HI)Baucus (D-MT)Bayh (D-IN)Biden (D-DE)Bingaman (D-NM)Boxer (D-CA)Brownback (R-KS)Cantwell (D-WA)Carper (D-DE)Chafee (R-RI)Clinton (D-NY)DeWine (R-OH)Dodd (D-CT)Dorgan (D-ND)Durbin (D-IL)Feingold (D-WI)Feinstein (D-CA) Graham (R-SC)Hagel (R-NE)Harkin (D-IA)Inouye (D-HI)Jeffords (I-VT)Johnson (D-SD)Kennedy (D-MA)Kerry (D-MA)Kohl (D-WI)Landrieu (D-LA)Lautenberg (D-NJ)Leahy (D-VT)Levin (D-MI)Lieberman (D-CT)Lincoln (D-AR)Lugar (R-IN)Martinez (R-FL) McCain (R-AZ)Menendez (D-NJ)Mikulski (D-MD)Murray (D-WA)Obama (D-IL)Pryor (D-AR)Reed (D-RI)Reid (D-NV)Salazar (D-CO)Sarbanes (D-MD)Schumer (D-NY)Specter (R-PA)Stabenow (D-MI)Stevens (R-AK)Voinovich (R-OH)Wyden (D-OR)

NAYs ---49

Alexander (R-TN)Allard (R-CO)Allen (R-VA)Bennett (R-UT)Bond (R-MO)Bunning (R-KY)Burns (R-MT)Burr (R-NC)Byrd (D-WV)Chambliss (R-GA)Coburn (R-OK)Cochran (R-MS)Coleman (R-MN)Collins (R-ME)Conrad (D-ND)Cornyn (R-TX)Craig (R-ID) Crapo (R-ID)Dayton (D-MN)DeMint (R-SC)Dole (R-NC)Domenici (R-NM)Ensign (R-NV)Enzi (R-WY)Frist (R-TN)Grassley (R-IA)Gregg (R-NH)Hatch (R-UT)Hutchison (R-TX)Inhofe (R-OK)Isakson (R-GA)Kyl (R-AZ)Lott (R-MS)McConnell (R-KY) Murkowski (R-AK)Nelson (D-FL)Nelson (D-NE)Roberts (R-KS)Santorum (R-PA)Sessions (R-AL)Shelby (R-AL)Smith (R-OR)Snowe (R-ME)Sununu (R-NH)Talent (R-MO)Thomas (R-WY)Thune (R-SD)Vitter (R-LA)Warner (R-VA)

Not Voting - 1

Rockefeller (D-WV)

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Senate Votes to Screw Americans

This week, my senator submitted legislation, who's stated purpose is:

To prohibit the granting of legal status, or adjustment of current status, to any individual who enters or entered the United States in violation of Federal law unless the border security measures authorized under Title I and section 233 are fully completed and fully operational.

In other words, No illegals get a change in their status until we secure the border.

It got defeated. How did your Senator vote?

Grouped By Vote Position
YEAs ---40
Alexander(R-TN) Allard(R-CO) Allen(R-VA) Bond(R-MO) Bunning(R-KY) Burns(R-MT) Burr(R-NC) Byrd(D-WV) Chambliss(R-GA) Coburn(R-OK) Conrad(D-ND) Cornyn(R-TX) Crapo(R-ID) DeMint(R-SC)
Dole(R-NC) Domenici(R-NM) Dorgan(D-ND) Ensign(R-NV) Enzi(R-WY) Frist(R-TN) Grassley(R-IA) Hatch(R-UT) Hutchison(R-TX) Inhofe(R-OK) Isakson(R-GA) Kyl(R-AZ) Landrieu(D-LA) McConnell(R-KY)
Nelson(D-NE) Roberts(R-KS) Santorum(R-PA) Sessions(R-AL) Smith(R-OR) Stabenow(D-MI) Sununu(R-NH) Talent(R-MO) Thomas(R-WY) Thune(R-SD) Vitter(R-LA) Wyden(D-OR)
NAYs ---55
Akaka(D-HI) Baucus(D-MT) Bayh(D-IN) Bennett(R-UT) Biden(D-DE) Bingaman(D-NM) Boxer(D-CA) Brownback(R-KS) Cantwell(D-WA) Carper(D-DE) Chafee(R-RI) Clinton(D-NY) Coleman(R-MN) Collins(R-ME) Craig(R-ID) Dayton(D-MN) DeWine(R-OH) Dodd(D-CT) Durbin(D-IL)
Feingold(D-WI) Feinstein(D-CA) Graham(R-SC) Hagel(R-NE) Harkin(D-IA) Inouye(D-HI) Jeffords(I-VT) Johnson(D-SD) Kennedy(D-MA) Kerry(D-MA) Kohl(D-WI) Lautenberg(D-NJ) Leahy(D-VT) Levin(D-MI) Lieberman(D-CT) Lincoln(D-AR) Lugar(R-IN) Martinez(R-FL) Menendez(D-NJ)
Mikulski(D-MD) Murkowski(R-AK) Murray(D-WA) Nelson(D-FL) Obama(D-IL) Pryor(D-AR) Reed(D-RI) Reid(D-NV) Salazar(D-CO) Sarbanes(D-MD) Schumer(D-NY) Shelby(R-AL) Snowe(R-ME) Specter(R-PA) Stevens(R-AK) Voinovich(R-OH) Warner(R-VA)
Not Voting - 5
Cochran(R-MS) Gregg(R-NH) Lott(R-MS) McCain(R-AZ)

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

She's Gone

She's Gone Oh I, Oh I'd
better learn how to face it
She's Gone Oh I, Oh I'd
pay the devil to replace her
She's Gone - what went wrong....

Zachary's new girl is gone. Mrs Schwartz drove around town and found a "Lost Dog" sign. She called the guy, and he was a basket case.

Mrs Schwartz: Is the dog that you lost a male or female?

She described him as very well dressed, early 50's, possibly gay. He wore a business suit with a silk shirt, and when he saw Muddy (found out her name) he dropped down and hugged her, muddy paws and all. He was weeping!
He insisted on paying her a reward. She argued. He opened an envelope PACKED with bills. She said "OK. Give me whatever is the smallest you have. "
He said "They're all 20's".

So Lost Dog Guy bought our lunch today. Thanks.


Monday, May 15, 2006

Alien Fever

Bush decided to ignore pretty much everybody and propose a pathway to citizenship and a guest worker program. Fine. The conservative base is hopping mad. You know when Teddy "SeaCaptain" Kennedy praises you, you've done something wrong.
The talking heads and experts are crucifying him from both sides of the debate. There are plenty of places to go to hit the standard talking points.

What I have not heard tonight, and never do hear about, is the danger of communicable diseases that are being brought across the border by illegals, from their third world shitholes.

According to a study in the Journal of American Physicians and Surgeons,

Many illegal aliens harbor fatal diseases that American medicine fought and vanquished long ago, such as drug-resistant tuberculosis, malaria, leprosy, plague, polio, dengue, and Chagas disease.

Today, immigrants must demonstrate that they are free of communicable diseases and drug addiction to qualify for lawful permanent residency green cards. Illegal aliens simply cross our borders medically unexamined, hiding in their bodies any number of communicable diseases.

Many illegals who cross our borders have tuberculosis. That disease had largely disappeared from America, thanks to excellent hygiene and powerful modern drugs such as isoniazid and rifampin. TB's swift, deadly return now is lethal for about 60 percent of those infected because of new Multi-Drug Resistant Tuberculosis (MDRTB). Until recently MDR-TB was endemic to Mexico. This M is resistant to at least two major antitubercular drugs. OrdinaryTB usually is cured in six months with four drugs that cost about $2,000. MDR-TB takes 24 months with many expensive drugs that cost around $250,000,with toxic side effects. Each illegal with MDR-TB coughs and infects 10 to 30 people, who will not show symptoms immediately. Latent disease explodes later.
TB was virtually absent inVirginia until in 2002, when it spiked a 17 percent increase, but Prince William County, just south of Washington, D.C., had a much larger rise of 188 percent. Public health officials blamed immigrants. In 2001 the Indiana School of Medicine studied an outbreak of MDR-TB, and traced it to Mexican illegal aliens. The Queens, New York, health department attributed 81 percent of new TB cases in 2001 to immigrants. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention ascribed 42 percent of all new TB cases to 'foreign born' people who have up to eight times higher incidence. Apparently, 66 percent of all TB cases coming to America originate in Mexico, the Philippines, and Vietnam. Virulent TB outbreaks afflicted schoolteachers and children in Michigan, adults and children in Texas, and policemen in Minnesota. Recently TB erupted in Portland, Maine, and Del Rey Beach, Florida.

Chagas disease, also called American trypanosomiasis or 'kissing bug disease is transmitted by the reduviid bug, which prefers to bite the lips and face. The protozoan parasite that it carries, , infects 18 million people annually in Latin America and causes 50,000 deaths. This disease also infiltrates America's blood supply. Chagas affects blood transfusions and transplanted organs. No cure exists. Hundreds of blood recipients may be silently infected. After 10 to 20 years, up to 30 percent will die when their hearts or intestines, enlarged and weakened by Chagas, burst. Three people in 2001 received Chagas-infected organ transplants. Two died.

Leprosy, Hansen's disease, was so rare in America that in 40 years only 900 people were afflicted. Suddenly, in the past three years America has more than 7,000 cases of leprosy. Leprosy now is endemic to northeastern states because illegal aliens and other immigrants brought leprosy from India, Brazil, the Caribbean, and Mexico.

Dengue fever is exceptionally rare in America, though common in Ecuador, Peru, Vietnam, Thailand, Bangladesh, Malaysia, and Mexico. Recently there was a virulent outbreak of dengue fever in Webb County, Texas, which borders Mexico. Though dengue is usually not a fatal disease, dengue hemorrhagic fever routinely kills.

Polio was eradicated from America, but now reappears in illegal immigrants, as do intestinal parasites.

Malaria was obliterated, but now is re-emerging in Texas.

So, yes, I'm in favor of militarizing the border. Post soldiers, guard towers, shoot those that refuse to comply.
Too harsh? It will be little consolation to remind yourself what wonderful workers they are when you get leprosy.

Sunday, May 14, 2006


We went to Rollerderby. It was a blast. As the flyer says, it was the Denim Demons vs the SakeTuyas. There was a creepy clown for an announcer.
There was also a tattood-mexican-wrestler-looking woman who was also providing commentary:

La Dangerosa carried a paddle in her boot for impromtu spankings, and was the Mistress of the Wheel of Punishment. If the girls committed an egregious enough foul, they were subjected to the Wheel's whims. No one committed anything that bad, though

The only downside is that they provide no booze. Note for next time: bring flask.

One of the things that struck us was the number of kids there. Not that there was anything really "adult" going on. The other thing that was cute was that all the little kids were very well behaved. Mrs Schwartz and I talked about how we wished we could show the scene to her parents: Parents with serious tattoos and punk rock clothes, who were taking a serious interest in their kids, and the kids being well behaved as a result.
We finally concluded that Mrs Schwartz would be great at Rollerderby, especially as a jammer. I'm going to keep working on her to do it.

Zachary's got a giiiiirrrrrrllll friend

Today was the Atlanta Celtic Festival. It went all day, but Mrs Schwartz fell asleep early in the afternoon. At about 7pm, I woke her up and said, "I'm going to the Celtic Festival. Do you want to go?"
We went. It was perfect. We sat in the grass, overlooking the band. Celtic bands, perfect weather, under an oak tree...
She quickly noticed a chocolate lab wandering around. She played with it for a bit, but it wandered off.
We drifted into the main area. I bought her a little dagger. We went back to listen to the next Celtic band. We came upon the same chocolate lab, laying on the sidewalk. Mrs Schwartz laid down next to her as we listened to the band.
After a while, we came to discover that this older, female chocolate lab had been wandering around since 1:30 pm (it was 10 pm). We asked around. Nobody knew the owner.

To say that Mrs Schwartz is less than logical at the thought of a girl chocolate lab? The understatement of the year.

After the band finished, there was no way that we were leaving without this dog. I have to admit; she's about the sweetest dog in the world. She's older. She has some gray hair around her mouth.

So we get her home. Zachary loves her, of course. The surprising thing is that he's been pretty restrained. He's only tried to hump her a couple of times. Mostly, he just seems like he doesn't know what to do with himself. That's how excited he is.

Mrs Schwatrz has lost her mind.

The girl-dog seems pretty comfortable. She growled at Zachary one time when he was getting a little fresh. Other than that, she seems pretty calm. She sits by Mrs Schwartz or me, or by herself.

Zachary is SO happy. She seems to be just as taken with him, though.

It may work out.


Saturday, May 13, 2006


OK, so I'm watching the history channel and they have a show about the rapture. It got me thinking about many of the foundational tenents of the bible.

Are y'all a bunch of primitive cavemen?

Because, seriously, so much of the bible is so ridiculous, I have to wonder if you hide in the basement whenever you hear thunder.

Let's start with the basics. Scientific evidence shows that the universe is billions of years old. Our solar system is a speck on the edge of the milkyway galaxy, which is a spec on the edge of the universe.
The human race has existed for a blip of time of this planet's history, which has existed for a blip of cosmic time of the galaxy.

My own life is an infitesimally small, and insignificant, blip in the course of human history.

So if you are the supreme creator of all of this and have existed for an infinite amount of time,

why the fuck would you care if I buy beer on Sunday.

I mean, really, the whole concept is so ridiculous, that I can't believe we have to discuss it.

Forget beer, if you were that creator, why the fuck would you care if I killed everybody in the state of Georgia. Really, from that level, what difference does it make. How many thousands of people are born and die every day?

We've been looking for signs of life on other planets for a hundred years and have found nothing.

How incredibly egotistical is it to believe that the universe was created as some sort of obstacle course for us.

It's idiotic.

It made sense when we were a bunch of primitive idiots, but we now know how the earth goes around the sun, and a whole bunch of other shit that makes basic religion impossible. When are the primates going to wake up?

That's not to say that I hate some of the beneficial tenets of religion, but do we need to suck up to some great Santa Claus in the sky to practice them?

One of the things that I like about my house is that there is nobody behind me. The way the neighborhood was laid out, there is a huge, triangular space behind my house that falls in the middle of the lots.
In addition to that, the back half of my backyard is totally wild. It has been that way since I moved in. I've tried to tame it a few times and lost.
But at this time of year, I like it all wild. The birds love it too. They'll get in a pseudo line for the birdfeeder by perching on all the nearby branches.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Yard update

I know you're all dying to know how the yard is going. I have to go over it with a garden rake to smooth out the ruts. After that, I put down seed, then cover it with wheat straw. I did some of it on Tuesday, then did some more tonight. Here is what it looks like:

Bizarro World

I was listening to the morning shock jocks on my way to work this morning. They do a regular American Idol update. I've never had the stomach to sit through more than 20 seconds of AI in my life. I don't get the interest.

The one shock jock taperecorded his phone call from his family last night. The whole family was DISTRAUGHT over how the voting went. While his mother was whining about calling the Fox affiliate because the show was obviously rigged, the sister calls in on the other line. The mother was going to call 911 to get the number for the Fox affiliate.

Quotes from the sister (in the JAPiest Long Island accent you can imagine) :

"It's just like when the twin towers were hit."
"This is one of those things like when Kennedy was shot, where you always remember where you were when you heard the news."
"Call your mother back. She needs you at times like this. She needs your support."

Yes, the whole thing could have been rigged, but it didn't feel that way to me.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Zachary and kids

Zachary with my niece, Harper, and my sister.

Zachary is kind of indifferent to kids. He doesn't mind them, but he doesn't get all worked up about them either. Now Montgomery, that's a dog that got worked up over kids. He loved them too, but he got so excited, I was always afraid that he would squash them by accident.
Zachary will occasionally turn to see who's petting him. He may lean in to sniff their face. That's about the extent of it.
With his bum leg, we don't really go for walks any more; we go for picnics. I took him to the neighborhood park and we sat down near one of the baseball games, so he could watch everything.
I'm still amazed at parents who let their kids approach strange dogs. About half would get clearance from me. The other half would just let their 4-yr old (or whatever) walk up with his little face right at the level of Zachary's teeth.
This one little asian boy and his sister just loved him.(is there anything cuter than little asian kids?) They'd grab his tail. He'd turn around and look at them. They'd screech and run about ten feet away, then do it all over again.
I could tell Zachary had a good time. He's on his comforter/couch, worn out


Sunday, May 07, 2006

If I build it, he will come.

Whoever the hell, He is. Anyway, I rented a rear-tine tiller and tilled up my front yard. Yes, I done plowed under my crop. It's about a half an acre. It took me a couple hours.
You see, my yard has been filled with weeds since I bought the house. Every year, I listen to grass gurus, who say, "It's too late in the year to plant grass", I don't do anything. The yard got worse. Now it's all weeds. I decided to start over. I bought a 50 lbs sack of grass seed and some hay.
Unfortunately, I was beat from tilling and put off the seeding until today, hoping to beat the rain. It poured last night. I tried to seed after the rain, but I sank ankle-deep in mud.

Aunt B's Famous Boob Freckle!!!

Words escape me

Saturday, May 06, 2006

That's Georgia for you

Friday, May 05, 2006

5 of Mayonaise?

I'm getting old. I had not planned on going out drinking tonight. Not just because I'm sure the booze stormtroopers are out with their roadblocks, but because I have shit to do early tomorrow.
Mrs Schwartz and I went to my favorite watering hole for dinner. She had successfully negotiated at work for good money, working out of the home (after she moves back into the home), so it was a night of celebration.
We get there, and there's a flyer that they are having OPEN BAR from 8 until 9. I can put most bars out of business with 60 minutes of free drinking, so I confirmed with our server (another hottie, by the way). Yes, she confirmed, all well-drinks are FREE!!!! for an hour.
A few years ago, I would've run over my grandmother to get to that. Tonight? We finished our meal. We watched the 12th cop cruise through the parking lot.
We decided that drinks at home were about $1 each and it would be better to just go home MINUTES before the open bar started. We LITERALLY passed crowds of guys as we left, and they entered, at the beginning of the open bar.
I console myself with the knowledge that I'm not currently in jail, and many young folks will be before the sun comes up.

UPDATE: Monday, 05/06/06
We went back for lunch yesterday. It turns out that at about 2AM, Saturday morning,

1) A naked woman was "fingering herself" on the out door deck of the bar.
2) This instigated a huge, bench clearing fight that involved a dozen people and broke the front door of the bar, before the police arrived, I'm guessing, in force.

I'm SO glad I went home.

Blessed Solitude

I don't think I mentioned it, but my friend George has been staying with me this week. He's been in town for a couple of months for a work contract. I had told him that he wasn't staying with me for two months, so he's been staying in a hotel. This was his last week, so I let him stay with me. It's been fun. We've gone to my local watering hole for dinner pretty much every night. In addition to my favorite bartender, they now have a waitress named Anna. The two are exact opposites. Where as Valerie is skinny and kind of classy, Anna comes off a little trashy and, my God, she's got curves that could make a bulldog break its chain.
We packed up his jeep last night. He plans to leave Atlanta after work and begin his drive to Washington DC. His fiance has already roped him into going to a coworker's birthday party on Saturday (after driving all night, after a 60 hour work week). Pity him.
I guess the title is misleading, since Mrs Schwartz is coming over tonight, but at least I can get sex off of her.
I know, Aunt B, I could get sex off of George, but that's not my thing. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Link Update!

For all you whiners, and you know who you are, I've updated my links. I did it quick over lunch, so If I missed anybody, then ping me and I'll do it after work.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The Wrath of Simon's Ghost

The last we heard from Plimco, she was copiously vomiting.
Then silence.
I have to wonder if she has been killed by the ghost of her victim, Simon.
Has she actually puked up her innards?
Has Fluffbucket been forced to eat Plimco's corpse, a la, Donner Party?
Will the local theatre scene ever be the same?

She lives! No word yet on whether Fluffbucket had to eat any part of her.

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